why even make plans?

 hate when my day doesn't go as I plan. They always say when you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans. I have to remember that when I plan for something in the future I have to remember to say to God if it is in your plans I will... So much has happen this year, but what 's new. There is always much happening every year in my life. Every time I get pass one hard point of living; there's another one right behind it. I miss the days when I was younger when there were more happy days than bad ones, as I get older there are more bad days than happy ones. Even though I try to make a smile out of every moment of the day, I always find myself reflecting on the direction my life has went rather than the direction I want it to go.

I'm moving in about three weeks, and I am not excited about it. I'm having to get use to the independent land lord, and so far its not working out for me. Versus me having a company as my landlord rather than an individual, is not something I'm beginning to like at all. I wonder what God thinks of the many questions I have flowing in my mind everyday to him. Especially when I'm face with hard and difficult decisions. At times I feel lost as if he forces me to make these decisions on my own, knowing the one I will make regardless if its the right one or not. I wish I had a guardian angel that would help me in all the decisions I make. An angel that will calm my heart when its stress or worried about something I have no control over.

If you haven't notice now, I'm in a slump today. I finally found myself not being the dominant person of the many disagreements I have with people. I only now have the strength to say OK, and accept things that i don't want to hear or can't help to control. Which is really hard for me. And yet I have to accept it, and trust that everything will work out. Even if I decide to give up on something and not react with my emotions, I rather not face the negative consequences. Tsk! Its kind of like, accepting the consequences of a decision I made, or doing something about it now and facing even more negative consequences later. Isn't that something horrible for someone to worry and stress about. Sometimes I wanna cry and hope God feels sorry for me and make everything better, nope! It doesn't work like that. I wish it did. Because I definitely feel like crying.

HALLoWeEn!!!!!!!

What a fun Holiday! Halloween! You can dress to be whoever you want to be on this day, and not be judged or questioned. For me and my daughter this year, we were without our norm for this holiday. Even though my sister and my nieces are not here physically, they were with us in spirit during our trick-or-treat extravaganza last night. Its been an emotional weekend dreading the thought of this night not having  my sister or nieces by me and my daughters side. My daughter didn't event want to go out without her cousins, but I talked her into it, and she had a ball! The community was so involved in the holiday for the children, there were catering outside serving hot dogs, haunted houses, and some neighbors were even scaring the children as they approach thier front doors.

A little upset because I wanted to check the candy first, and refuse to smile for the picture.





We even had an amazing Halloween Costume Party at work, most of us didn't participate, (like myself, far left)..in the glasses. But we really all had a nice time. Can any of you guess who the guy is in the black coat???