I Am Who I Am, So Who Cares What You Think!

Be true to yourself. Never change who you are to compliment another person’s opinion of you. I have come across people in my life that made it their business to tell me how I should act, and what I shouldn’t say. I am a person that people love to be around, my happy spirit, my outspoken voice and my great energy attracts many people. I am a firm believer in speaking on how I feel about something. If I don’t, I eventually start to resent. So I rather choose to be open so that all communication is real and honest. This quality that I carry, has attracted many individuals. People have found comfort in talking to me. This is a value of mine that I treasure and always want to keep. But it has also caused me to fall in unpredictable situations. People want to hear honesty, but in truth they want you to lie and make them feel good as if it is the truth somehow my opinion became treasure-able. Sometimes who you are is not benefiting another person’s ego, and for that person it becomes a problem. I have met many people in my life who loves to be around me, but find it difficult to be who they really are when they are with me. I have found myself in competitions I wasn’t aware of. I have encountered populace who is always trying to outdo me, and think they are better than, while all alone trying to be just like me.

There is an old song that says, “Let Your True Colors Shine Through” and it goes on to say for your colors are as true as the colors in the rainbow. I have heard that song a million times, and for the first time, I actually listen to the words of it and understood the true meaning of what that song is really saying.



love yourself



 Be real; not only to yourself, but to others. Who you are is what God intended you be. I’m not saying don’t recognize those things that you can change, but only for the purpose of making you more comfortable within your own skin, and not for someone else. At one point in my life I start to change who I was so that other people around me would be comfortable, but I realize that I wasn’t comfortable. Then my AHA Moment came when I grasp that the only thing that I needed to change about myself was how I handled people and how to not let people handle me! When you learn how to do this, nothing no one say, or do, will jeopardize who you truly are.

Be Real, Be Honest, Learn Yourself, Before Others try to teach who you should be.

am i there yet

Do a situation gets better when you suffer more from it? or when you actually give up. Seemingly it seems that way for me. The more I’m refusing to know, or do, the worse my situation gets. As much as I ignore ignorant or jealous individuals, the worse my situation get. I ask myself; why God has not move me yet? I ask myself this question very often, mostly on Monday mornings when I awake before I leave home.  Am I not done with the lesson at hand? Have I not suffer enough in order to become stronger? What more is there for me to do, why do I still have to be in the presence of people who I know want to see me fail. Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if I was in another blessed opportunity? This shit gets harder as each week progresses and it is stamped with a past of bad experiences.

This chapter of my life.

I’ve decided to name this chapter, “Overcoming My Truth and There’s Too”. There are situations in your life where we want to ignore the obvious. As in myself I want to walk away from it. Don’t care about it, and try my best to avoid it. As I consistently read my bible, I find it comforting in knowing that God still has me in the palm of his hands. Today I read that we “should dwell in the land” Even though we may feel like running away from or trying to hide from challenges, do so robs us of experiencing how God can provide a place of rest and safety. For “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety”. (Psalm 4:8)

Magnificent Mother

Saturday was my mother's birthday. If I was to tell you her age I probably wouldn't exist anymore! But let's say she looks amazine. Most people would guess her age, and literally be wrong. She looks so young. My mother looks amazing, I can honestly say she looks 20 years younger than what she is. Her vibrance, strong will, and sophistication has mold me into a woman of intelligence, extreme confidence, and striving will. My sister and I planned a small gathering to celebrate her birthday, and it turned out to be an extravaganza with family. Extended family, and friends of the family. Even new family ended up joining us! It was great!

Me and my sister were the entertainment of the entire engagement. As usual! Making everyone smile, and laugh histerically. At one point in the evening we ran out of food. Not knowing how many people was going to join us that day! It was so wonderful! Time spent with family is when I'm at my best, and I felt absolutely great!

Barbecue Ribs, Chicken, Sausage, Potato Salad, and watermelon! It was great! As busy as I was serving and making sure everyone was comfortable and fed, I would glance at my mother and she would be smiling, and at times I honestly think she was overwhelmed with appreciation and happiness.

The best moment of the night is when she was holding her birthday cake, and my sister and I wanted to get a picture, and all of sudden everyone pulled out their cameras and the flashes were coming from every angle! Everyone wanted a picture of her on her birthday. It was a true paparazzi moment for my mom! She felt incredible! I love her so much, I pray that God will continually shower her with blessings of sunshine and radiant health. I look at other peoples parents and it makes me appreciate my mother even more, for not everyone has a good mom. I am one of the few that do.

Miami, Miami, Miami!

When you are a single mother, career woman, and college student, there is usually not much time to yourself. So when you do get a moment, or even a weekend away from the race against time, you tend to take it all in for you know it may not last long. This past weekend I was able to go to Miami and breathe, relax, take in some sun, and just enjoy "myself". Even though I cried like a baby when I dropped Mekenzie off at school Friday morning, I am always in the mindset that I know she needs me, so I have to be there for her.

So in order for me to leave her for three days was a very hard thing to do. I deal with so much mentally on a daily note, that I never remember to think of what I need to do or feel for myself. This trip gave me that moment. Time spent with great friends, was way more than what I expected or even thought I needed. Friday night I was taken to an absolute wonderful spot were these big beautiful rocks lead a path in the middle of the ocean, and I was able to walk on these rocks until I couldn't go anymore and just sit.. think... sit some more... think some more...; and think about how creative my God is.

Saturday me and my friends spent a lot of time at the beach, while enjoying some cocktails, laying in the sun, embracing a fascinating breeze, and swimming in a beautiful ocean.

Here's a pic from our hotel roof top pool, so relaxing and pleasant.

 After spending much time up here, I didn't want to go back to the room. And the ocean view wasn't bad either.

It's amazing to actually reflect on how the world was created, and it's also a blessing to be apart of it and appreciate it all the same.

Taking in such a moment and view, was breath taking many times during this trip.

I couldn't help many times but to just take a pictures of the ocean,

or even the sand. I think myself couldn't even believe I had a break from it all.

I missed my Mekenzie a lot, and many thoughts rolled through my mind of her missing me, and myself missing her, but I was able to quickly result back

to taking it all in, before my duties begin once again Tuesday Morning.



The pictures were so beautiful. I knew where I was and I could see the beauty in it all. But when I looked at the pictures I felt as if I was viewing someone else's post card, because I couldn't believe I was there.

I work in one of the most stressful job environments, and to be able to take this trip to Miami with wonderful friends, I now know that I can still trust God in what is to come of my life, and the necessary steps it takes to get there. To be able to go from paradise and back to a unstable work environment, gives me drive to keep going, and trust in the word in which I beleive. For moments like these are worth the struggle to get to them.

Love is not lost, only sometimes forgotten...

needless to say

You were created for a purpose; every situation you have gone through or are going through is setting you up for a divine moment. Look into every circumstance as a piece of the puzzle coming together in which God has created for your in the beginning.  The fact that I’m here matters. There is no accident.

Prepare for opportunity. I don’t believe in Luck, I believe in God’s plan, his divine order. We are being prepared in ways we don’t even know we are being prepared for.   For me, and for you, everything that has ever happen in our lives is preparing you for the moment which is to come. A moment in which you would have never imagine for yourself or dreamed of.

The universe always speaks to us. You've heard it before; it is as a whisper… We sometimes ignore it, and then it becomes louder, and as we continue in the direction in which we are comfortable, because we are afraid of change, the whisper then shouts. We all of sudden stumble, and we look around as if the voice itself is behind us. We continue, and one day it happens; we fall.

The path in which we were on starts to crumble, we then realize the whisper is all we have left to trust in, and as we listen, we follow, and a life in which we want then starts to come together.
We are more than what we appear. Our being here is no mistake. The purpose of our existence is what we should seek for. If you do not strive to know what your purpose is, you are as a lost soul roaming the earth.

Every situation, circumstance, problem, or worry, is a step closer into building a character of yourself that is sustain for the life in which you were created to have. Embrace life, challenge yourself in challenges. Live for the unexpected, because it far more than what we think.

the week from hell

what a journey it has been this week. So much to say and so much to do. So many decisions to make and follow through on. No one's advice is helpful because it's different from the next person. One person says this, and another person says that. Those problems in which existed before, is elevated for the problems I endure now has my most concern and thoughts toward. Then life seems not fair, everyone seems a bother. I start to shut everyone out one by one.

My nerves are high, and my attitude is extreme, I'm snapping on every little thing and apologizing later. But in it all, I still feel serenity, I am blessed and have gratitude for the things in my life, my daughters presence in my life! I love the lord, and I know the Lord loves me. As much as I have endured this week, I'm able to still feel restoration and positive expectations. I've been forced this week to place a judgment upon a person a part of me, but a judgment that I don't see or even an opinion. In situations like this you believe in one thing, and familiar with it. But the experts say something different, so you're force to make a decision in which you don't believe but don't have a choice in believing in. What am I to do? This reminds of one of my recent writings of enduring the suffering and not praying it away but embracing it. I now sit  and thins, but there’s a time limit on what is needed to be done, God has not respond yet, so I feel somewhat alone, but also growing. I hope the decision I make is right, I hope that the way it feels is not the end results. This is one of those chapters that are continued on to the next, for the story continues as the testimony awaits.

gReAtEsT

Today was one of the most profound, exciting, visual, love days of my life. I was actually able to enjoy a day of life and with joy with Mekenzie. It was all about my daughter.

                                                                                                                                 effortless

Those days don't come often or barely ever presented. I was able to give her a serene moment. and many unexpected laughters. A day at the musuem was amazing, we were able to see 600 carat diamonds, and a 100 years old artifacts. Gems and crystals that were so beautiful in color, you couldn't stop looking at them. We rode paddle boats, chase ducks and squirrels. We rode the train, we flew down slides, and went the highest upon swings. We lived today!

As hard as one works for the lifestyle I want my child to have, I've sacrifice the moments in her life which are important. The experience of new places and new things. The knowledgeable trips and lifestyle experiences every child should have.

The moments carried in each day that a parent learns something new about their child, is being missed.
 To occupy that time in a place where fairness has no meaning, there is no compromise, or yet no concern. One needs to rethink her direction, focus more on the life in which God has place in her hands, and remap lfies journey in which God has already planned. The focus of life is not to be better than the next person, to not uphold an image others envy, but to be honest with oneself first.

 I took this picture as it caught my eye, seeing my daughter in a calm place.To not change other people, but to look for great reasons to change thy self, so that one may not encounter situations your own characterstic could be blamed.

 
I encountered some wonderful moments today, beautiful sceneries, and forever held memories. Here are a few...


One should focus more on the things that are

important, not in the things we see is necessary.

Stop for a moment and just really look at where

you are. Notice the art and undescribe beauty of only

things nature can cause naturally.

 

a moment of sillyness, turn out to be a smile and cry in my memory

 

calm garden representation of chinese

I could of stayed in this garden forever, as I watch mekenzie play and sing, strangers in love hold hands, families talking and enjoying each others company, and children playing. There was no hate, only peace.

 

Natural Museum of Science.

God has place serene places, one of a kind corners, and magnificent

sceneries. Sometimes all we have to do is be still, close our eyes,

and listen.