My very own

One of today's American Dreams is being a homeowner. Every person that I have ever met that owns their own home usually says the same thing... its worth it! But what they forget to mention is the absolute hell you go through in getting one. For the last sixty days or so, give or take.. I have been in the process of buying a home. It has been an absolute roller coaster ride. Sacrifice, Email, Research, Give, Take, and more Sacrifice. I had to take a class on Saturday about the entire process, and as much as I dread going to take an 8 hour class on my day off, it was well worth the time, and money. I learned a great deal about buying a home, about maintaining a great credit score, and basically staying about the hassle.

I don't understand the reason for so much detail and information though.
The digging and prying of your personal life. There should be the take of knowing you can afford it, for an amount of time it is needed it, and a good credit history. The point of knowing why I went to the mall last week, or if I'm single.. which I hate discussing, because the next question following is usually really? Yes really!!! shouldn't matter. Its like going on a first date with someone that's nosey, and ready to move in with you after two cocktails. Many of the people in the class were couples, and those that were there alone, were either married or engaged. I was the only person in the class who was single. It didn't bother me in the beginning, but as I realized how every person had a person to handle this process with them, I felt as though I had so much ahead of me to take on my own. I'm now at the point of wanting to know if I'm closing or not just so that I can get rid of the nerves, and butterflies in my stomach. The stress of knowing or wondering what they are going to ask me for next. Will this be good enough, does my records look good enough, who do I have to go through next in order for this process to be finish and complete.

But with all of that said: The day when my keys are put in my hand, and I finally have a place to call my own, and not anticipate a rent increase every year, will definitely be worth it! A yard my daughter can run free in with our phoebe! A day not wondering when will I have to pack again.... A place of our own.

WEIGHT GAIN

I absolutely HATE gaining Weight. And I have! Oh Have I! Being in a new living environment, and my car being sick has secured me in one place, and what other activity I've been able to do, is read, and instantly...ummm...ummm... EAT!. Good eating at that, home cook meals, and constant snacking. I'm so not proud of myself, and wish I could definitely stop. But under my current situation I can't get to the gym like I would like too!... As soon as I went back to spin class last week, my rental car had to go back until my car is repair and taken off the breathing machine.

Ahhhh, I really knew it was over when I went to put on my skinny jeans on casual friday, and I could not button them. Its official. I am about to go extremely hard on myself. I'm not one of those people who do the die hard diets, I don't make myself suffer from not eating or being miserable. I make it a life style change. I learn to limit myself, exercise on a regular, and retrieve as much energy as I can by getting enough sleep and eating those things that build my body tissue and not replace it with fat tissues. I never have a goal of what I want to wieght, but what makes me feel good when I'm able to fit back into everything in my closet.

Happy Go Losing!

I LOVE READING

OK I purchase myself a Nook for Christmas, and by far it has been a great investment. I have been able to catch up on some of my best novels, and fashion magazines. Just in two months I have read over four novels. I am now fond and love the writing by this author named Ashley Antoinette. She writes these intriguing urban love stories! Every book I have read I have found myself infatuated with the characters. She explains them to be magnificent. The men have brains, looks, courage, and the ability to not only be able to take good care of their woman, but to want too. I can also relate to some of the women in her books, and looking for a man similar to the ones in her literature.

I distant myself from life's problems when reading, and put myself in the story. Times gets away from me, and I forget about most of the things I tend to stress or worry about. I'm dreaming, imagining, and fascinating a great ending of my own chapters. Believing that I too can have a happy ending. Not all the stories I read have happy endings, but the sequels do. So there's a happy ending to many of our stories, rather if along the way the struggle is extreme, the lessons leave bruises, and the heart ache never mends. There is always something to be hopeful for, and it is our own stories happy endings.

and by the way if you have a nook, send me an email so we can become nook friends, and lend great reads! staceywoods@rocketmail.com

oooweee... when it rains it pours. Life has been seriously challenging for me the last couple of months, and if you read my previous posts from the last year not an not so easy last couple of years. But I can honestly say that mercy is defintely graced me. I have had more closed doors, and limitless holds on hope that I can count. So from here, me getting pass each rollercoaster and dissspointment is writing.

Yesterday I hear the news that Whitney Houston died, and all the media can do is ask why? how? who found her? was it drugs? did she overdose? did someone killed her? And all I can think about; was her last minutes lonely or dreadful. Her daughter, and her family. Yes it is important on how she died but the given fact is; she's no longer here, and I cried for her. I didn't know her, nor ever met her, or seen her in concert. But you know how you can look in someone's eyes and learn them. You see thier soul, thier emotions, and what they're feeling. With that; I feel like I knew her. And just two days ago I recieved my Feb subscription of Essence Magazine on my nook. She was featured in the, headlines: "Whitney: In The Spotlight Again" she is in a a new movie coming out this summer for the remake of the movie "Sparkle" with Jordin Sparks. I was so happy for her because she looked so good and healthy. I immediately showed the pictures to my colleagues who was also happy to see her in such a beautiful light. It saddens me, but I only want to focus on her most successful past accomplishments and those that were to come. She's been through alot and she was well aware of it all, and headed toward making good for herself, and reclaiming her greatness.

For you I dedicate this post Whitney.

why even make plans?

 hate when my day doesn't go as I plan. They always say when you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans. I have to remember that when I plan for something in the future I have to remember to say to God if it is in your plans I will... So much has happen this year, but what 's new. There is always much happening every year in my life. Every time I get pass one hard point of living; there's another one right behind it. I miss the days when I was younger when there were more happy days than bad ones, as I get older there are more bad days than happy ones. Even though I try to make a smile out of every moment of the day, I always find myself reflecting on the direction my life has went rather than the direction I want it to go.

I'm moving in about three weeks, and I am not excited about it. I'm having to get use to the independent land lord, and so far its not working out for me. Versus me having a company as my landlord rather than an individual, is not something I'm beginning to like at all. I wonder what God thinks of the many questions I have flowing in my mind everyday to him. Especially when I'm face with hard and difficult decisions. At times I feel lost as if he forces me to make these decisions on my own, knowing the one I will make regardless if its the right one or not. I wish I had a guardian angel that would help me in all the decisions I make. An angel that will calm my heart when its stress or worried about something I have no control over.

If you haven't notice now, I'm in a slump today. I finally found myself not being the dominant person of the many disagreements I have with people. I only now have the strength to say OK, and accept things that i don't want to hear or can't help to control. Which is really hard for me. And yet I have to accept it, and trust that everything will work out. Even if I decide to give up on something and not react with my emotions, I rather not face the negative consequences. Tsk! Its kind of like, accepting the consequences of a decision I made, or doing something about it now and facing even more negative consequences later. Isn't that something horrible for someone to worry and stress about. Sometimes I wanna cry and hope God feels sorry for me and make everything better, nope! It doesn't work like that. I wish it did. Because I definitely feel like crying.

HALLoWeEn!!!!!!!

What a fun Holiday! Halloween! You can dress to be whoever you want to be on this day, and not be judged or questioned. For me and my daughter this year, we were without our norm for this holiday. Even though my sister and my nieces are not here physically, they were with us in spirit during our trick-or-treat extravaganza last night. Its been an emotional weekend dreading the thought of this night not having  my sister or nieces by me and my daughters side. My daughter didn't event want to go out without her cousins, but I talked her into it, and she had a ball! The community was so involved in the holiday for the children, there were catering outside serving hot dogs, haunted houses, and some neighbors were even scaring the children as they approach thier front doors.

A little upset because I wanted to check the candy first, and refuse to smile for the picture.





We even had an amazing Halloween Costume Party at work, most of us didn't participate, (like myself, far left)..in the glasses. But we really all had a nice time. Can any of you guess who the guy is in the black coat???