" he got you "

Yet, I am at  another time in my life where I have found myself seeing and getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. Another revelation of how God is working through me and on my behalf. Yesterday was an amazing moment for me and I am sure for others who were inside the same church walls with me. We had a visitor at Lakewood named Nick Vujicic, he was the most admiring, uplifting, non-complaining person I have ever met in my life. I watch Mr. Vujicic deliver a message created in him by God, with a smile on his face, and not a complaint in his eyes or his tone. He spoke on how people would ask their own selves why would God create a person to have no arms or legs, and he assured us that it wasn't God that intended on him to be born that way, but there is much that Satan has done. God will use the effects of evil has and use it for his Glory. Mr. Vujicic was magnificent to listen too. It was emotional for me, as he spoke. He answered many of my prayers from the past of what I thought God ignored or did not answer. God has his own plans for my life, and until I get on his time line, I will forever want those things that are not intended for me. My break through was knowing "he got me". As happy as I am with life, there are moments sometimes my mind tries to force me to worry or be stress. I was asked at church yesterday as into why I let my mind do that, and I couldn't answer. But I now have the assurance that God has me in the palm of his hands. I also learn that every difficulty situation I have encountered or been through has not been lessons sent from God intentionally to make me suffer. But it has been a learning experience to trust in him, and know that he is in control. What a grand thought of just knowing that, "The Greatest Miracle of Life is Knowing Your Name is in The Book of Life - Nick". We will always have questions, and we may at times fail God, but he will never fail you. I have such a spirit that allows me to be so keen and happy for those in whom I see the spirit of the Lord in. I strive to one day be a person of such that kind of Grace.

how do we forget

Whoo! Ok, its been a journey, and not sure if my journey is over, but I was reflected back on the events of my life that changed me for the good, and the test that followed and that broke me, and brought me back to the past in which I tried so much to forget and not go back too. My heart is heavy, my love is lost, and my determination is strong. How did I forget all that I have learned and retreat back into being the person in whom is stressed, unrelaxed, and carry so much heaviness? I forgot his promises, his lessons, and the love in which he has for me. As I pray to this page and whomever who reads it, Dear God, place the peace that has drained from me back into my heart. Let me love again without first blaming, or resenting. Let me not be striking by those who want to see me fail, let me not hate those of past hurts, let me forgive, and not take everything so personal. When the time comes of a persons actions seems mean, or attacking to me, let me forgive at once, move on, pray for them, and become better. As thier actions is a lesson that reflects an image of me, on how I handle a situation, but to not bring no stress onto my heart. (amen). A friend help me today, to not notice those things of hurt or pain, to not expect everyone to be kind but hope to be kind to them, and live for the moments that brings smiles. Today I claim, a reflection of where I been, where I came from, and where I am going. Who I am! which is who I love, and who I intend on never losing, despite the challenges. Happiness and reflection found me today, and I intend on loving all of those that keep me in their hearts, for those that find thoughts of me failing, I also pray for you to one day reach the echelon of where I am, and where I'm going. For we all need at times to reflect on who we are, and what we have been to people. I am grateful for what I've been through. I am grateful for all that GOD is doing in my life at this very moment. He has taken a jar filled with my life, shaken it up, release somethings, taken a piece or two out, shaken it up again, and now the contents inside are starting to settle. and for that I'm grateful... once again my story continues

Dedicated to Nate.

forgive

        I have learned to forgive, not only to just forgive but what comes from being able to do so. There’s a gift, a magical accomplishment, and a level of maturity grown in the midst of being able to forgive. Those who have wronged you, hurt you, or savagely took a good part of which you were, or on your way to become, has to be forgiven. You do not want that person or people holding your life in the palm of their hands. This is possible if you do this, if you hold on to the anger and resentment. It will only hinder you from a life of goodness, happiness, and deserving favor. For as it is said in the prayer, “forgive us for our debts”. Let go of the debt in which you feel people owe you, rather if it’s an apology or an act of forgiveness, for they don’t owe you anything, it is all dependent on God to heal u, and release you from that place of antipathy. To try and hold on to that memory of hurt, or remember to have anger toward those who deliberately act in a manner or say things in which they get gratification in making you suffer, hurt your feelings, or to be rude, have outside unpleasantries in their own life. They are blind in the actions of what they do, and say to others. You have to first be grateful you are not them, let alone be going through what they are passing in. You are on sacred ground, where mercy endures over you, as they are passed on by wicked forces and actions that persuade them. You being angered toward them, do not affect them, but ignites them…

BUT!

To be able to pray for people, who wrong you, helps that person to look pass the wrath in which they may have toward you, and on to a level of looking in the mirror that reflects the immorality within them, and then they journey of redemption and forgiveness begins.

     What a wonderful weekend! God is truly amazing. Time spent with family celebrating my big sisters birthday with the children running through mom’s yard, and the men watch football, while the women laughed, danced, and danced some more on the front porch. The breeze blowing, and whistling through the trees, whiles the last of the leaves of autumn flow to the ground without a sound or interruption in the changing of seasons. As I watch my family laugh, tell funny jokes, tease each other, and reminisce about the times when we were children, is like meditation of calmness to my soul.

the only time that MATTERS is the time spent with 'Family'

Spending time with family is the most precious and unforgettable moments a person will ever encounter. yes at times those moments may be confrontational, argumentative, or even judgmental. But in all the facts in my case my family dearly loves me as I love them. At a time when I was young and wanted to be considered grown, I ventured out on my own clinging to those things I found to be more open to my choices, my way, and anything different than what family said or wanted done in my life. But as I've gotten older, wiser, and smarter and reflect back on those times in my life that has been more important, and had a greater impact on the person I have establish in myself today, has been from the lessons, the talks, the punishments, the "no's", the you're not ready", and the basic " it's not your time" was for a purpose, an eventful timeline of growing and becoming a woman of God, a woman of my mother's blood line, an adult of my father's past, and a link of womanhood from my sister was all in the emotions of my life with my family.

As I'm now older, my family means more to me than I can express verbally or show emotionally. I love my family, my mother's strong will and need for going the distance for herself and her children has been an inspiration of my life. I still need my mom, I cannot imagine my life without her voice, her smile, her ANGER, or her support, her love, and most of all her touch of where I'm going, where I came from, and where I am. My sister's persistent presence in my life as my best friend, my support, and most of all I admire her courage in standing in my life as my father would have after he went to be with God and help the angels watch over us. My daughter's unending love, need, and encouraging spirit that enable me to make a living for her, and her love for life within me. My nieces and brother in law’s support, laughter, love, and encouragement that has brought me along way.

This weekend was by far a special one, why because it was spent with family. Saturday me and Mekenzie tried some new recipes and also finally carved us a pumpkin, and named it Charlie. So much fun, and yet so messy and sticky. Mekenzie enjoyed it!

Mekenzie cleaning out the pumpkin

We finally finished after sooo much gooey stuff!..lol!

clean, clean, clean

VOILA!

My princess and Charlie!

and to follow such a blessed Day, Me and Mekenzie went to Church felt good knowing that we are able to uphold a book "the bible" that gives us the truth of living in the image of God. Following that day, me and my family enjoyed some Good Zydeco at our family church Our Mother of Mercy Bazaar, and got to see old friends, and family while enjoying some good ole 'gumbo' and "budain" and many, and I mean many, many laughs, and jokes, and again laughs!!!! Here are some pics from our wonderful sunday outting. Have A Great Week Bloggers!

the baby of the family, my nieceQ sooo beautiful!

Me and my family watched some great zydeco dancers, and some hillarious ones, we had an amazing time!

my sister being silly!!!!

me and my baby!!!! enjoying some GUMBO! her favorite

Great Food with Family! This gumbo was especially the highlight of me and mekenzie's day, I'm not sure who made, one of my childhood friends aunt usually makes it, but it wasn't, it was someone else and it was crazy!!

My other niece enjoying the hell out of that gumbo, and she usually acts funny with soul food!

family having a great time!

my beautiful Nanny aka Auntie, and my lovely hot mommy

!

We had an amazing time! Anytime spent with my family is all that I need in the rest of my days of my life. I endure and anticipate time with my family as much as I do with friends and dating these days....lol.. Family is where love lies, and is concreted.

The Love I have for "Good People" Authentically Made

      It’s not often in life that you come across good genuine people. A person or many, who has come into your life and unexpectedly awaken you to what is consider to be an authentic friendship. Someone who wants to see you succeed no matter how long you’ve been in their lives, rather if it’s been a year or an hour in meeting, a person who is constantly in battle with you and not against you. Helping you to see your mistakes before they are made, and challenging you to keep going for the battle is not yours it’s the Lords. I have those people in my life. One of my friends just told me not too long ago “Stacey I’m not against you, I’m on your side”. I instantly started to cry, and realize the battle I not only had secretly with people in my life but has also been with myself. Enduring so many personalities, I found a remedy of expressing myself and thoughts for another person to someone else, and with their faults and our character’s crashing, I continued them in my life, which was unhealthy, not a resolution, but poison, for more damage to come. Not realizing that everyone is not good for every person. Someone that is seemingly good to another person, does not mean that they are good for you. So when I met the wonderful friends I have come in contact with, in this year alone, I was confused, and I didn’t understand, but their presence was all in comfort, motivation, and constant compliments. I have damaged relationships in my past due to previous situations and mishandled words of the tongue. I have underestimated the good people that have come into my life, and that I have dismissed out of my life. A good person, will never intentionally hurt you or want to see you fail, as my friends tell me now, and even men tha I date, somehow always finds the need to uplift me, help me to realize that they do genuinely love and have care for me. Just with friends I was able to spend time with this weekend, it was constant compliments, smiles, laughter, hugs, and most of all much love. It was  just the company of Good People who doesn’t even live in the same city with me, showing concern for my life even my meenie me, who experienced a severe strep throat this weekend.  And the Time with my family who loves me, more than at times I love myself.

God has chosen and has specifically place every person in my life for a certain reason, place, time, or event. I have learned to understand the good from the poison. The love from the hurt, and the motivation from wanting me to fail. I’ve learned to be patient, to not expect everyone to handle a situation as I would, to understand that I am only me, and there is no need to think another person will think or do things as I would. A good person who maybe different from me will know and understand that we will come together as a unit, become a partnership, a team, a ally, in better words a good friend. Rather if it’s my family, a friend, or my husband, I now know to recognize a good person when they come into my life. I have also learned to be a good person, for I have always strived to be, but have fail short many times.

May God Bless if you are one those in whom I dedicate this writing too.

His Touch

riding in the car with that “person” in whom you had butterflies before seeing, reaches over and touches your thigh lightly and you feel a rush of your blood leave the spot of where his hand is, and goes to your feet. You then hurry and turn your face in a different direction, clinch your fist, close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, and later you don’t even remember exhaling. This seems much... I know, especially in front of him. But it happens so fast, he doesn’t even notice. He continues to hold the steering wheel with his left hand, leaning on the console in the middle of you two with his left arm, while massaging and grasping your left thigh with his right hand as he wonders if we're going in the right direction. Those are the essential moments, that ends up being our favorite ones, and the beginning in which we start to fall in love.

As his hand reaches your inner back while you are walking in front of him, your spine immediately tingles, as you get an intense feeling of being proud he’s attempting to touch you in public, giving his immediate language to all the other men around she’s with me, at that moment he’s falling love.

In our most intense intimate moments is when the simplest touches intrigues a woman and ignite her feelings for the person in which she is in contact with. His hands grasping the back of your neck as he draws you closer to him, the small amount of sweat in the palm of his hands mixing in the lust of yours, the aggressive embrace of both of his arms clutching around your waist as his hands join together in the sink of your back. The simplest kiss on the bridge of where your eyebrows part, is the touch that exuberates the love in which you have found in yourself for him, and in him.

Sometimes its not about the car he drives, or the job he has. But is about those moments in which he can take you out of yourself and walk with your soul as he pleases you in every step he makes, just by the contact of his hand, the press of his lips, and what he’s thinking while he just stares at you for no reason… You know those moments. When you catch him staring at you, as you play in your hair, or when you find something hysterically funny, or when you and he are just watching a late night movie and he is suddenly staring at you while smiling and you ask him “what”! And he says “nothing”, and turns his head, while thinking he is indeed lucky.

who is to be is not to be, what the hell is the question...

Clubs are usually a place to go and have a great time with friends or family, an atmosphere where most people go to celebrate an event of some kind or better yet to get away from a problem or take their mind off of a situation. As I attended one of these places last night with great people I notice many other people of different levels of looks, taste, ages, heights, and demeanor.  It’s rare to hear people speak of how often many individuals choose to hide the reality of their life, but choose places like clubs, and internet networks to paint a picture, hide, or create a place in which they want to be, or who the wish they were. I tend not to place judgment on such people anymore, only because I’m able to understand my blessing of seeing myself in which Gods sees me, as they are not.

 I look in the mirror, as I in make up or not, and take pride in myself, who I am and what I have accomplish. Many times I may steer my thoughts wrong due to the judgment others place on me from what I have or don’t have, so at times when I am blessed among my expectations I tend to hide it from those in whom I know don’t have my best interest at heart, or I tend to block certain visuals of my possessions so others won’t demonstrate hate for me or what I have, and at times people do this and not even know they are doing so. These are usually the people who brag or lie about having something that in which they don’t, or embellish on what they actually have, or actually have it, and chooses to wallow on it, so that they may feel they are better than you. This happens to me more often than I can remember at times, and I say to myself, why do people lie so much to me. I have even down-shined myself or given myself short in order to not make anyone act differently toward me. What do I have that encourages a thought of anyone, rather it being a stranger or a friend, to lie to me about anything in their life. Not about something they did to me, or something they may have said, but of which something they have. In clearer terms the materialistic items in which they uphold or how they may have obtained it.

            Why do people lie? Is that the only self indulgence one may find to endure happiness in front of others? Sometimes it makes people feel good to know that they are better than someone else. What produces a thought as this, I could not explain or understand, but its true. Don’t get me wrong I can relate many of times I have lied about something or to someone. But I have never been ashamed of who I was, and what I look like, or what I don’t have. (Accept when I went through my acne phase)…J

 In my mind there have been times when I felt as though I wanted more, or I didn’t drive a certain car, or lived in a certain area or place. But even at a young age, I realize that when you embrace who you are, and look at the greatness of each little thing you have …self, personality, character, creativity, and motivation. A person will build a moral fiber that will oversee everything within, that makes all the things you see small look as beautiful on the outside and be visualize by others as a walking blessing. No matter what I have, or don’t, who I am as a person outshines all the rest, and that’s one thing I can brag on. Having a spirit of laughter,  the indulgence to make anyone smile, the love of bearing friends and meeting new people, is a character I have that outshines having a fancy car, a six bedroom home, a fake marriage, fake friends, or even a perfect job. Being A Great Person is a person who has it all!