awaiting change

as much as I want to write about how I constantly await for God to change something’s in my life, I find it to be a selfish. For I am truly bless to have as much as I have and to have gain as much. I look around at the things in my possession and cannot understand how I was able to buy, obtain, or even hold on to them. Occasionally I find myself in situations where I'm able to maintain, stay focus, and relatively bite my tongue, until God moves me, or change the scenery. I feel that he keeps you in certain situations until you are able to get the lesson, find the change, and maturely advance in character. Until then the same mistakes can be made, and the same tests can be taken.

 I realize now that I have endured, I look in every corner for my answer, and I have even in many cases found myself being treated unfairly, misused, spoken to wrong, and have remained subtle. Keep my mouth closed, and refrain from fighting, and as hard as it has been "arguing". So as I await change, I have to keep my focus, continue the silent fight, and refrain from reacting to others faults, and actions. There's a battle here on earth, a battle in which is fought by many to keep their good frame of mind. As I get tired by the end of Thursday of every week, I long for the day of Sunday. A day of where I'm reminded that a good change is coming, and the wait I actively do will not be for nothing or in vein. awaiting change defines faith, which are things unseen and hope for.

so as I await change, I endure patience, I gain knowledge, and I become wise.

dEEp THOUGHTS today...

"have you ever heard someone say that "Love liberates" ? Well I did, just today from the mouth of the most soul founded individual. Maya Angelou. She spoke words of finding who you really are, and the qualities one should have in order to be free of stress you can bring upon yourself or give others the benefit of bringing stress upon you"

thoughts today...

Love liberates..Love does not judge, but waits upon the lord to move, - it doesn’t binds. It liberates! Just do right..Be the best human being you can be, just do it because it is the right thing to do...People that know you, and that really knows you, will add you to their prayers. If this is where God has me in my life, I must need it... ~Maya Angelou

Developing my pearl... I don’t have to pray away every situation but to embrace in what God is wanting me to get out of it. If I’m at a job where my boss is hard on me, don’t leave that job, for the next position I get I will have two more people the same way. Develop my patience, and kindness to those that are mean to me. Say no to my flesh even when I get upset. Be nice to those they may be mean to me, get pass that difficulty. Stay on the high road, and suffer that period of stress and develop a higher character.

Don’t get offended by every offense.. Pass the test.  Don’t fight against everything that you don’t like... Quit getting your feelings hurt because they offended you, let the irritation become a pearl.. If you are praying about an irritation and God is not doing anything, he is using that irritation to build you. ~Joel Osteen

1 Peter 4:12

my AHA MOMENT!

Wow it's 2011! I think the most exciting and important part about going into the New Year, is the fact of surviving the previous year and setting out to see a new one. For me going into the year of 2011, I have finally realize what I want to do with my life, and I'm so excited about it. As a child or even as a teenager, you are ask one of the most important question of your life. And that's "what you want to be when you grow up?" I have always been one of those people who really could not tell you exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew exactly what I love doing. For years I’ve been trying to figure out how I can bring what I love doing and creating,… to a job that would fulfill my talents and innovation.

For about 13 years, I knew what I love doing, but there wasn’t any job titles or job descriptions that gave energy to it. Not until about three days ago, God place me at the right time and place, to see and hear a moment that revealed to me a reality within a thought I had, of a job description, that gave a definition to all that I love doing. It is what I would consider a dream job! My AHA Moment... Oh My Goodness!.... I'm so excited about this year. 2011 I set out on working toward the goal of having the career of my dreams. To get as much education and knowledge my brain can obtain. To always look for a time and a place to learn more about life, and what I love doing. To embrace every moment that makes me laugh and smile, to clinch my Mekenzie for all of her accomplishments and hard work, and spend as much time as I can with her. To create a life that would bring her no strife, but only laughter. To look more into my family for love and support. To accept people for who they are, and learn to handle them accordingly. To be a great person to everyone I meet and every person in my life. To not be afraid of failing. To control my tongue. To only think thoughts in which is morally acceptable for my life and the people around me. To learn from my mistakes, and to most of all believe in myself. I made it to 2011 for a reason, and for that I have much to be grateful for, and look forward to!

HAPPY NEW YEAR READERS!

remember to always look for ways to be a better person, learn as much as you can, pick up a book and read it, and challenge yourself.

moving from our past.

We all make mistakes in our life. The hardest part is accepting blame, and realizing the faults that we’ve made. Some of those mistakes may have caused hurt or pain to another person. Some were intentional, and others we had no idea we were doing. For me, it could be the characteristics of who I am. There is never an intentional thought or action in my bone that could make me become toxic to another persons health, happiness, or well being. And yet, I am a work in progress of trying to notice features within my character that could be harmful to another person’s personality. The biggest sign of spiritual faith and maturity is to forgive, and move forward to a future of new beginnings. To not constantly remind ourselves of what we’ve done wrong to someone or what someone may have done wrong to you. People may try to make sure you remember your faults, or feel the need to make you feel bad of how they may felt about something you had no idea of doing. Or what you’ve done by mistake. Can we forgive? Or do we need to constantly expect apologies and make someone feel bad? I think it’s best to move forward, find a place in your life of where that person fits, or a reasoning to move on in your life without the person. God speaks to my soul when he wants me to act, and if I don’t follow I will never make it pass that change or transition.

Readers tell me what you think? If you ever hurt someone’s feelings, or caused a mist of stress in someone’s life, should they constantly make you feel bad? And if that person chooses to shake their finger at you, should you just accept what you’ve done, and move out of their life so that you won’t cause them anymore pain? I’ve decided to not be present in certain people’s life, if I cause them harm by being who I am. I work on me to better myself, and bring happiness into others life, but I will not alter who I am, to compliment another person’s personality. I am an individual, who possess a trait that was designed by God for me. A quality in me, may be a yoke for someone else, but yet a strong point for individuality. I rather people to be happy, and healthy, even if it considers me being out of their life. Tell me what do you think?

Isaiah 43:18 remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

I can't wait

I can't wait to get to the peak of my life when people do something that offends me go over my head and I don't think twice about it. Or when someone says something that I may take offensive doesn't offend me. Many times people are mean, offensive, competing, and or jealous of you and they may not even know that they are. You want to say something, fight, or give them an action or word to show them that you are not inferior to them, and yet they don't understand, and become more offensive toward you for they love the battle itself. I want to not recognize, see, or even feel it. I want a fly above it. I want to be set free from the negativity. It's sad when you want to do the great things in life, but are afraid to do it with some people, because you can't trust them. I want to love everybody. No matter how stink their attitude is, or how internally their rooting to be better than me. I want to be Thankful for past friendships and relationships, of the people that have chosen to walk away from me. For it's ok. They did what was best for them, which God knew what they would do, and have used it for divine purpose in my future. I’m not offended anymore, I’m able. As Joel mention Sunday, a message I fail to receive by not being there physically but was meant for me. Is to not fight. Keep moving, look back and smile, and keep your step as you move forward firm and the peace in your heart still. One day I will make it to that place of flying about it all, and only land for the times in which I can take with me in my heart, and look back upon and live those moments all over again in my heart. Life is amazing, and yet it can pass me by when I only choose to see the bad in it all.

A plaque on my mother’s front porch has hung for years. “Why worry when you can pray”.  I just reminded her of it the other day, and she looked up at me, and her eyes said Thank you. We do get tired of the mental fight, and when we win one, there’s another one seconds away and sometimes it’s a rematch. Keep going, for I can’t wait until I’m flying about it all.

" he got you "

Yet, I am at  another time in my life where I have found myself seeing and getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. Another revelation of how God is working through me and on my behalf. Yesterday was an amazing moment for me and I am sure for others who were inside the same church walls with me. We had a visitor at Lakewood named Nick Vujicic, he was the most admiring, uplifting, non-complaining person I have ever met in my life. I watch Mr. Vujicic deliver a message created in him by God, with a smile on his face, and not a complaint in his eyes or his tone. He spoke on how people would ask their own selves why would God create a person to have no arms or legs, and he assured us that it wasn't God that intended on him to be born that way, but there is much that Satan has done. God will use the effects of evil has and use it for his Glory. Mr. Vujicic was magnificent to listen too. It was emotional for me, as he spoke. He answered many of my prayers from the past of what I thought God ignored or did not answer. God has his own plans for my life, and until I get on his time line, I will forever want those things that are not intended for me. My break through was knowing "he got me". As happy as I am with life, there are moments sometimes my mind tries to force me to worry or be stress. I was asked at church yesterday as into why I let my mind do that, and I couldn't answer. But I now have the assurance that God has me in the palm of his hands. I also learn that every difficulty situation I have encountered or been through has not been lessons sent from God intentionally to make me suffer. But it has been a learning experience to trust in him, and know that he is in control. What a grand thought of just knowing that, "The Greatest Miracle of Life is Knowing Your Name is in The Book of Life - Nick". We will always have questions, and we may at times fail God, but he will never fail you. I have such a spirit that allows me to be so keen and happy for those in whom I see the spirit of the Lord in. I strive to one day be a person of such that kind of Grace.

how do we forget

Whoo! Ok, its been a journey, and not sure if my journey is over, but I was reflected back on the events of my life that changed me for the good, and the test that followed and that broke me, and brought me back to the past in which I tried so much to forget and not go back too. My heart is heavy, my love is lost, and my determination is strong. How did I forget all that I have learned and retreat back into being the person in whom is stressed, unrelaxed, and carry so much heaviness? I forgot his promises, his lessons, and the love in which he has for me. As I pray to this page and whomever who reads it, Dear God, place the peace that has drained from me back into my heart. Let me love again without first blaming, or resenting. Let me not be striking by those who want to see me fail, let me not hate those of past hurts, let me forgive, and not take everything so personal. When the time comes of a persons actions seems mean, or attacking to me, let me forgive at once, move on, pray for them, and become better. As thier actions is a lesson that reflects an image of me, on how I handle a situation, but to not bring no stress onto my heart. (amen). A friend help me today, to not notice those things of hurt or pain, to not expect everyone to be kind but hope to be kind to them, and live for the moments that brings smiles. Today I claim, a reflection of where I been, where I came from, and where I am going. Who I am! which is who I love, and who I intend on never losing, despite the challenges. Happiness and reflection found me today, and I intend on loving all of those that keep me in their hearts, for those that find thoughts of me failing, I also pray for you to one day reach the echelon of where I am, and where I'm going. For we all need at times to reflect on who we are, and what we have been to people. I am grateful for what I've been through. I am grateful for all that GOD is doing in my life at this very moment. He has taken a jar filled with my life, shaken it up, release somethings, taken a piece or two out, shaken it up again, and now the contents inside are starting to settle. and for that I'm grateful... once again my story continues

Dedicated to Nate.