WEIGHT GAIN

I absolutely HATE gaining Weight. And I have! Oh Have I! Being in a new living environment, and my car being sick has secured me in one place, and what other activity I've been able to do, is read, and instantly...ummm...ummm... EAT!. Good eating at that, home cook meals, and constant snacking. I'm so not proud of myself, and wish I could definitely stop. But under my current situation I can't get to the gym like I would like too!... As soon as I went back to spin class last week, my rental car had to go back until my car is repair and taken off the breathing machine.

Ahhhh, I really knew it was over when I went to put on my skinny jeans on casual friday, and I could not button them. Its official. I am about to go extremely hard on myself. I'm not one of those people who do the die hard diets, I don't make myself suffer from not eating or being miserable. I make it a life style change. I learn to limit myself, exercise on a regular, and retrieve as much energy as I can by getting enough sleep and eating those things that build my body tissue and not replace it with fat tissues. I never have a goal of what I want to wieght, but what makes me feel good when I'm able to fit back into everything in my closet.

Happy Go Losing!

I LOVE READING

OK I purchase myself a Nook for Christmas, and by far it has been a great investment. I have been able to catch up on some of my best novels, and fashion magazines. Just in two months I have read over four novels. I am now fond and love the writing by this author named Ashley Antoinette. She writes these intriguing urban love stories! Every book I have read I have found myself infatuated with the characters. She explains them to be magnificent. The men have brains, looks, courage, and the ability to not only be able to take good care of their woman, but to want too. I can also relate to some of the women in her books, and looking for a man similar to the ones in her literature.

I distant myself from life's problems when reading, and put myself in the story. Times gets away from me, and I forget about most of the things I tend to stress or worry about. I'm dreaming, imagining, and fascinating a great ending of my own chapters. Believing that I too can have a happy ending. Not all the stories I read have happy endings, but the sequels do. So there's a happy ending to many of our stories, rather if along the way the struggle is extreme, the lessons leave bruises, and the heart ache never mends. There is always something to be hopeful for, and it is our own stories happy endings.

and by the way if you have a nook, send me an email so we can become nook friends, and lend great reads! staceywoods@rocketmail.com

oooweee... when it rains it pours. Life has been seriously challenging for me the last couple of months, and if you read my previous posts from the last year not an not so easy last couple of years. But I can honestly say that mercy is defintely graced me. I have had more closed doors, and limitless holds on hope that I can count. So from here, me getting pass each rollercoaster and dissspointment is writing.

Yesterday I hear the news that Whitney Houston died, and all the media can do is ask why? how? who found her? was it drugs? did she overdose? did someone killed her? And all I can think about; was her last minutes lonely or dreadful. Her daughter, and her family. Yes it is important on how she died but the given fact is; she's no longer here, and I cried for her. I didn't know her, nor ever met her, or seen her in concert. But you know how you can look in someone's eyes and learn them. You see thier soul, thier emotions, and what they're feeling. With that; I feel like I knew her. And just two days ago I recieved my Feb subscription of Essence Magazine on my nook. She was featured in the, headlines: "Whitney: In The Spotlight Again" she is in a a new movie coming out this summer for the remake of the movie "Sparkle" with Jordin Sparks. I was so happy for her because she looked so good and healthy. I immediately showed the pictures to my colleagues who was also happy to see her in such a beautiful light. It saddens me, but I only want to focus on her most successful past accomplishments and those that were to come. She's been through alot and she was well aware of it all, and headed toward making good for herself, and reclaiming her greatness.

For you I dedicate this post Whitney.

why even make plans?

 hate when my day doesn't go as I plan. They always say when you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans. I have to remember that when I plan for something in the future I have to remember to say to God if it is in your plans I will... So much has happen this year, but what 's new. There is always much happening every year in my life. Every time I get pass one hard point of living; there's another one right behind it. I miss the days when I was younger when there were more happy days than bad ones, as I get older there are more bad days than happy ones. Even though I try to make a smile out of every moment of the day, I always find myself reflecting on the direction my life has went rather than the direction I want it to go.

I'm moving in about three weeks, and I am not excited about it. I'm having to get use to the independent land lord, and so far its not working out for me. Versus me having a company as my landlord rather than an individual, is not something I'm beginning to like at all. I wonder what God thinks of the many questions I have flowing in my mind everyday to him. Especially when I'm face with hard and difficult decisions. At times I feel lost as if he forces me to make these decisions on my own, knowing the one I will make regardless if its the right one or not. I wish I had a guardian angel that would help me in all the decisions I make. An angel that will calm my heart when its stress or worried about something I have no control over.

If you haven't notice now, I'm in a slump today. I finally found myself not being the dominant person of the many disagreements I have with people. I only now have the strength to say OK, and accept things that i don't want to hear or can't help to control. Which is really hard for me. And yet I have to accept it, and trust that everything will work out. Even if I decide to give up on something and not react with my emotions, I rather not face the negative consequences. Tsk! Its kind of like, accepting the consequences of a decision I made, or doing something about it now and facing even more negative consequences later. Isn't that something horrible for someone to worry and stress about. Sometimes I wanna cry and hope God feels sorry for me and make everything better, nope! It doesn't work like that. I wish it did. Because I definitely feel like crying.

HALLoWeEn!!!!!!!

What a fun Holiday! Halloween! You can dress to be whoever you want to be on this day, and not be judged or questioned. For me and my daughter this year, we were without our norm for this holiday. Even though my sister and my nieces are not here physically, they were with us in spirit during our trick-or-treat extravaganza last night. Its been an emotional weekend dreading the thought of this night not having  my sister or nieces by me and my daughters side. My daughter didn't event want to go out without her cousins, but I talked her into it, and she had a ball! The community was so involved in the holiday for the children, there were catering outside serving hot dogs, haunted houses, and some neighbors were even scaring the children as they approach thier front doors.

A little upset because I wanted to check the candy first, and refuse to smile for the picture.





We even had an amazing Halloween Costume Party at work, most of us didn't participate, (like myself, far left)..in the glasses. But we really all had a nice time. Can any of you guess who the guy is in the black coat???





FREMENIES!

I really never had much emotion or thought to the word "fremenies". I didn't think I had any. Just until recently I had a friend confide in me a conversation she had with a person I thought to be a pretty good associate. I learn this person would take a conversation that I would have with them in confidentiality and would then twist it into bashing me with another person. 

What were they reasons for doing this?

In reality I think it is to make them feel good that I'm not as perfect or as happy as I really am. My first reaction was to be angry, betrayal, get revenge, confront her, and after I calm myself, took about two deep breaths. I realize I was hurt. The question I kept repeating to myself was 'why'. Why am I hurt, why am I surprised? This is not a person in whom I trust, she is not someone I call a friend. What boggle me was the energy a person puts into wanting to know or find something out about me. That they felt was a good topic or two to discuss with another person.

Am I that important? For you to know what kind of car I drive,?how much money I make? what I am I doing this weekend? who I am dating? Where do I live?

What in the hell is that about, it's actually scary. Is this something that should worry me, or enlightened me?
 

Forget That!
 

I know what it is. I look good, I feel good about myself. I love dressing nice, I like compliments! and I love to make anyone smile and laugh. I even love to compliment another person. Do me dressing nice, makes another person hate me, or even dislike me?

Most of my life as an adult and after giving birth to my daughter I felt as though I was invisible; "so I thought."

This situation made me realize I am the topic of many coffee breaks, lunch conversations, smoke break topics, and email subjects. To remind you, I have had great laughs and conversations with these people. And yet I didn't know that I was being watched, that I was being timed, or hoped for to fail. The cost of my rent is being discussed, my credit score is being analyzed to the reasons of why I dress nice- to the shoes I buy on sale.


For Example: Oh girl, I really wanted a house last year, but due to the student loans on my credit it didn't go as good as I would have liked it, now I have to wait.


Fremenie version: She don't even have good credit and she pays $X.00 in rent. Did you see her car? I wonder how much money she makes anyway! She couldn't even afford her lunch the other day, she just had water and bread... hmmm. WHAT? I was at that same lunch, my plate was $18 and I got a light plate, so that I could keep the figure that attracts so much attention to me. DAMN!


After much thought, the feelings that I eventually end up having was flattery!

I learn to embrace it! For it means I'm doing good at what I do. But I also learn to stop smiling so much and trusting everyone. While I'm so busy smiling I don't notice those who truly are against me, and trying to get me in a position to fail.


I'm going to keep on looking good! Creating my own fashion do's and strutting the cat walk! For it is something I love to do. I'm good at it. And one day I'm going to make a living out of it.

DONT GO

There are times when a routine, habit, people, and schedule becomes a constant rotation in our lives. We get comfortable, and attached to them. When a change or detour occurs, it could either be great, or it could be sad. The change that has just interrupted my life has sadden me. My big sister who has never been away from me, no more than two to three days at a time is moving away. She is moving on the other side of the United States. More than 800 miles away, and it is not settling well with my mom, her, and myself. We all have been crying non-stop for the last three weeks, and as our time of living in the same city comes close to moving day, it gets harder and harder to fight the emotions of feeling lost, distant, and hurt.

Who would have ever thought my best friend that I have had since I was born would end up being so far away from me. Not in reach to cry on her shoulder, unexpected phone calls to meet for lunch, meeting in the lobby for church: after it already started. :-). I'm going to miss her so much. Apart of me will feel lost, and incomplete. My nieces will be missed also. Their smiles, their laughter, and most of all the weird questions... and to hear them call me "auntie". Missing my sister calling me "sissy". What shall I do with my sister away? How am I to say bye not knowing when will I see her again? How will I protect her when she needs me?

I will pray and forever keep her in my thoughts. I will call her every morning just to hear her voice. We will share a laugh and a compliment or two, just as she was here in the new. I will Skype with the girls to make sure they don't grow too much without me. Send them treats, presents, and feed them sweets. Anticipate the holidays for I know we will all share. Let the new beginning of our lives begin in a crisp air.

Love you sissy.