Stepping Out On Faith

We hear it all the time from our friends about their plans. Our friends, family members, coworkers, and of course ourselves. We make plans for everything to always ensure when the time is right. Wives plan their pregnancies, while men plan their big financial purchases. Life sometimes pass us by because we're still planning or working out our plan, or waiting on that sign. We're waiting on that promotion to go for that house, we're waiting on less hours at work in order to go back to school. What happens if these things or opportunities don't ever come? Do we keep waiting? Do we direct our minds to keep hope on that sign or financial upper level, or do we pray about it, believe God heard it, and step out on faith? It reminds me of the story in the bible when the man who was lost out at sea, prayed and asked God to save him. However whenever a big boat would pass him by and ask if he needed help he would tell them no because God is on his way. What he did not know is that God sent those boats. Sometimes God is ready to help and willing to give, but if we don't do our part and step out on faith the things we want most will pass us by.

As I step my foot onto the hope of not knowing, my balance is steady. Jesus has secured my stumble, and made it solid. My sight hears far, and my road is safe. And yet its dark, my hand is held. God has me in his veil.
  

Why Does She Copy Everything I Do!

Ladies, have you ever had a friend, colleague, teammate, or schoolmate that copies you. Someone that has seen you with a beautiful polish on your hands and the next day she has the same color too. Or how about that new lipstick color from MAC you're wearing, and the following week, she's showing you she just bought the same color too! You try to look at it as flattery, but then you also feel as though you're losing your originality. This person doesn't hide that she's copying you, but brags to you as if she wants you to know she's mimicking you.

I never realize women can hate who you are but try so hard to be like you.

The art of loving oneself and being freely is overwhelmingly blessed. The ability to find beauty in the way one looks, and achieve it effortlessly is moment less. The love for myself I now see is a blessing, and spiritual gift, as I fight the battle of hating someone who has found me to be their inspiration, I know it is a result of what I'm doing is succeeding...

Duro Olowu Dress!!!

Jamaal Foster

A good man lost his life Tuesday and I knew him, a high school girl who loved him.... My first real crush, 15 years old at a bowling alley dance hall for teenagers on the south side of Houston, Hello! A handsome, soft spoken, skin color of the prettiest brown you can find in your grade school crayola box. Dorm room nights of innocence... Praire View University. Long nights of conversations under skylight fire station sirens, and dim light house parties, music daring through Missouri City streets. My hug from him last year for his birthday is now mine forever, If I only knew it would be the last time I would held a little longer, and whisper to you the blessing it was to have you in my life throughout the years.

Thinking about you Jamaal consistently. You were intriguing, a mystery any woman wanted to experience. Your persona was gratifying as your presence was admiring. Your eyes were comforting yet without speaking it seems you were complimenting. Always smiling when I would see you, never shook my hand for hugs were necessary, respectful in distance with later touches of softness. Always gave a compliment or an assuring nod, that always felt so nice. I wish you were still here, however I feel your smile is so near.

Family Lost... Endurance

This month I've spent a lot of time with my family. Of course the holidays were the reasons, however the lost of a love one played a specific role. My cousin Chris died this month. Very unexpected tragedy, he was young, smart, intelligent and hopeful. A year ago his mother died from a tragic bicycle accident. So I can only imagine what his year has been like. We've spent time with him and the family throughout the year, and he seemed to be moving on with his life and enjoying all unexpected changes. I do think he was missing something in his life, he wanted more. And it saddens me to know that he died without achieving all of his dreams. It was a wakeup call for me.

Don't live life wondering and daydreaming of how life can be. But to live it working on what you want it to be. Stop living off the happy feeling of what can happen, but to stop over thinking it and just do it. Love hard, trust openly. Sometimes we are born into circumstances that disable opportunities in our future, but if we use the negative beginnings as motivation to change the lives of our own children and ourselves we can live abundantly. He was taken too soon.

This post is dedicated to you Chris Noel.

 

The other woman

It's raining like crazy tonight! Chill weather... Everyone's sleeping, I'm laying in the dark pissed, tears streaming down my face. I'll be better tomorrow... But as I realize he didn't answer his phone tonight, ... She gets points tonight which is being home with him. In his element. Comfort of his home with rain in the background.. and as I call and he don't answer. I'm alone. She's probably having movie night and fucking later. I'm fighting the urge to tell him not to call me again, for I'll regret it in the morning. A woman choose to love hard for the night of feeling like he belongs to her and she's all he want. Ignore the reality he's not. As the other woman that's the hardest risk, for she's playing with her heart...

Worst Week of America

This was one of the worst weeks America has ever endured. so many tragedies exploding one behind the other.  This week I cried,  smiled, laughed, and was afraid.  It seems you can be careful... responsible even, and try to stay aware, but you could never be prepared when hatred happens, or a careless mistakes occurs.  What drives a person to be angry towards people they don't know? Why are we constantly judged as a whole, depending on race or religion. I now understand the importance of controlling my anger,  for it only becomes evil. Have we all seen evil before? If not... we seen it this week.  Do you ever want to be hated as the marathon bombers?

A friend of mine this week told me in a malicious way that women of my race hair don't grow, and with the intention to be mean she made the point of saying her race hair is better.  A year ago I would of cursed her out and I would of wanted to fight and punish her with words severely.  Surprised at myself... I paused for a moment... and remembered the bible verse ♡refrain from anger for it only leads to evil♡Psalms 37. I told her she was out of line and that I hope she has a great day,  and I have distance myself from her. Its not the first time she has made a comment that was meant to be malicious towards me... i realize its evil, something I never want to be labeled as. I never want to find myself on TV running from the police, because of where I let my anger grow too.

Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader DECLINED!

I was reading an article this morning, about a five year veteran Raven Cheerleader who was not invited to cheer at the Raven's Super Bowl Game. As I reading, I wanted to make sure that I didn't prejudge until I actually heard the reason as into why the cheerleader was upset. But when I got further into the story and her reasons of wanting to be heard, I was truly upset. I'm sorry but for some reasons this makes me think of a envious woman somewhere who decided to teach this girl a lesson. Someone who has been on their team for five years, and has even been featured in magazines for being one of the hottest cheerleaders in the NFL, was not ask to come back! Seriously. Why can't women be for one another. I may be jumping the gun on this one, but I see jealousy written all over this story.

This is why people and "women in general" become confused in life when making life decisions: Judgement. You never know how someone is going to feel about our choices, or who may be affected, but when in reality is about making OUR own life happy. Courtney made a life decision to further her career after graduating from college, and was not shown a pat on the back, but a kick in the rear for retiring. I think it's ridiculous and she deserves to cheer as this will be her last year.

<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/we-want-baltimore-raven-s-cheerleader-courtney-l-to-at.html">Request Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader, Courtney L to be Reinstated & Attend Superbowl with her team! Petition | GoPetition</a>