shit happens...

picture by stacey woods

It is amazing how we go through numerous changes within a year, and force to learn from them in order to get pass them. Yet so many months later, we find ourselves retaking the same test again because we forget about the lesson we once learned before. We usually expect something awesome to come out of our struggle, and has yet to do so. Then we eventually fall back into a state of not believing, or forcing a change in what we are dealing with at that time. I just recently went through a struggle I once experienced before, but yet forgotten.

I am a firm believer of God, and I have always thought when something goes wrong in my life, that I needed to reflect on what I may have done that could have possibly caused this emotional set back or hurt. I have lived with this "train of thought" for years. Thinking when something goes wrong, and I couldn’t find anything to reflect on that I could have possibly done. I would start to hard on myself and confuse myself even more. Which would then affect the natural things of my life.

I have now come to understand that SHIT HAPPENS!

Being perfect is what we strive for, and yet we do have our short comings, ....but understand this… life does continue with or without you, and things go on. Realize that you are able to move on and from things, and that "somethings"  just may not have a meaning. Everything does not happen for a reason, only for the knowledge of knowing, and being prepared for your own future, or someone else’s. From my experience to yours, try not to be so hard on yourself, for the things that are ordain to make you a better person is for the glorification of your life.

As I’ve said before and I have no problem saying it again, “Shit Happens”.

Is it possible to lose yourself

of course it is. We experience many situations that can cause a dramatic change to our mentality. This could be a car wreck, a loss of a loved one, or even a relationship.

Just a day or so ago, I was visiting my mom and she handed me all of my very old daily planners. As a teenager, I found it important to remember every single exciting, endearing, and fascinating moment of my life! By doing this I would write down whatever I did that day. As I begin to read these so many years ago moments, I found myself smiling, bursting into laughter, and even crying. It displayed to me how much fun I use to have by myself, with friends, and old boyfriends. I then remembered... at that moment, who that girl was. She was very familiar to me, as if she was a good friend of mine who I enjoyed being with everyday.

I notice in my planners that after I fell in love with a certain someone, my life changed, it became bland. I started to focus only on this person, I stop hanging with friends, I stop doing the activities I loved so much. My planners then start to change dramatically, the person who I fell in love with name start to appear more than enough, not only of him, but his family. Not much of my familiy, my friends, or myself was in my schedule anymore.

When I counted those years back, I realize that I lost who I was for about five-years. I became a person of whom I didn't want to be, but found comfort in being her. Thanks for this book of which my past life was written, reminded me of who I was, and who God intended for me to be. To love life, endure the special moments of love ones, doing those things in which I love to do, trying new things that interest or intrigue me. Traveling with family, and friends,  and meet new and exciting people.

You are probably wondering, how do you do these things in which you love to do, when so many circumstances has cause tremendous responsibility on your life. I've learn to find time, to not get caught up in planning to do something, but to just do it! You do this by just learning To Do You!

Believing In Things Unseen…

Believing In Things Unseen… When we were once children, our fondest time of the day is when we were pretending. Imagining being the most beautiful princess in a far away land, or the bravest knight slaying the meanest dragon. Pretending led us to joy in believing we were the most magnificent person within ourselves, but yet we were not able to actually see it. Most times in our lives we are in a state of believing in something or someone, when there is no concrete information that what we are believing in will eventually surface. We try our hardest to believe in those things we want to see happen or have. I have come to realize my hardest times in life is when I was left only to believe. It’s not easy at times to keep hope, faith or believing. I have found this inner strength in me that has given me the hold of believing, even when I have nothing to look forward too, or when I do not see my prays being answered in a timely fashion. What I do see fit to shorten my suffering or stress, is to just believe in God and to trust my struggle is not taken for granted or for nothing.

We have to remember the most powerful source on earth that is not seen in a physical being is our Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ. Like many we believe in him stronger than we believe in ourselves, and it’s all because of the things he has done in reach of our hands and by the sight of our eyes, that he is real. So despite where you are in your life right now, rather if it’s in a struggle or in a time of losing, believe all is to pass soon and your glory within, will first  reveal itself to you in the sequenced of valuable time. In other words its never too late, but is always "right on time".
always remember, "joy cometh in the morning"

Not Knowing What’s Next…..

Not Knowing What’s Next….. I’m at a point in my life right now, where I do not know what’s next, for I do not know what is to come, when or who my next relationship is with, where would my next career take me or take place. What I do know is that I’m moving forward, taking each day as it is handed to me, and trying my best to make each one count and make the best of it by making it productive. Knowing what I want to do, but capable of only doing what I need to do, which in many cases of our lives is never the same. In order to do what you want to do, requires certain amenities, tools, steps, and planning. But where do we find the time, to grasp those things we want to do and the things we’re passionate about, without losing hold of what we have to do, what’s demanded and needed out of us now. As my epoch proceeds itself, and moves on with or without me, I have no choice but to move along with it. I look into not only what I can do each day to make it count, but into someone else’s day and find a place where I can make their day count too.

When we come to these certain points in our lives, you have to learn to take them positively. I’ve learned to not beat myself up over what I have no control over, the situations where I could not have change the outcome, or done different. I’ve also learn to not base my past actions on what I've do now, just to have assurance on bypassing the same mistakes for my future, but to just be positive in not KNOWING whats next.

This is when God loves to do the most in our lives, which is to surprise us by the things we’ve taken trust in, and to bring us out of.  So when you think of where you are now, the routine of your life, rather if it’s at your employment or in a relationship, relax and enjoy it everyday.

Without knowing what’s to come is the best part about living, take the time and inspect your own expectancy, and surprise yourself. Do something out the ordinary for once, try something new, learn something different, take a different route home. Don’t wait until you’re forced out of that normal routine and left in a state of not knowing what’s going on, or what’s happening. Start now and plan for a better future, an exciting outcome. I’ve been taken from a routine in my life that has been consistent for more than five years, and it took me days to understand this is not my plan nor my schedule, but to realize what I was missing, what I am now able to appreciate and love about life. I still don’t know what’s to come, however I know something is coming far greater than where I was, and not knowing what that is but the caliber of what it is going to be.

Trusting in God is not knowing, but believing! There’s A Reason for every Season!

Losing

 lost

Losing is not only something hard to face, but to move on from, depending on what was lost, or to ever regain the feeling of moving forward without what was lost. Losing can break you, discourage a thought or movement, or to have faith in anything or anyone again. But it could also motivate you to restore what was lost and replace it with something greater, larger, or better than before. I’ve lost so many times in my life this year. But as I now look back at all the things I’ve lost, I do not understand the strength that I had, or where it came from. How do I locate it for other hard times, who gave it to me, and how did I find the secret key to unlock the sacred box it’s kept in. Not realizing such a power of this super natural strength I had only surfaced when I really needed it.

It’s a struggle and fight to only focus on what you have now, and not what you had. Things are remove for a reason, a purpose, and a sense of higher development.

At the time of losing, you’re not able to see the forthcoming, the opportunity, the prospect, or hope of something good. We’re thinking and analyzing the question and only thought, which is ‘why’. You’re feeling hurt, deserted, disappointed, hopelessly confused. You even get angry, looking for someone to blame, after you’ve blamed yourself enough. You don't want to be the reason for the lost, you’ve contemplate everything you’ve done right, things you could of done to avoid the lost of losing something. I’m here to tell you... I’ve lost, and lost, and lost, and now I’ve gained more than I ever had in the first place of losing. As a friend told me, at time it’s hard to move on but you have let your arms catch you by the ankles so that you’re able to walk through it… It’s hard to trust into something good, that you’re not sure of what it is yet, but to know its coming. So we have to get up, and keep going, find the motivation in us to know everything is going to be “just fine”. This is a setback preparing us for comeback, becoming a better person understanding life’s curves and detours. Detouring from a regular route to see another way with a much better scenery. Not missing out on God’s creation of moving through life too fast.

 A season of losing is not defeat nor accident, but all an encouraging motivation of lifting to another echelon. A reflection of the past to continue to the next phase, that moves forward to more chapters. Which leads to an unforgettable ending. Losing, a scene of slow motion, causing the grasp of your mind and hands a head start on life’s most prize possession. A lead of catching the world.

In order to motivate ourselves or to see what we’re missing, we have to experience a low point, which in some cases is losing something that your eyes are contracted on, everything and every moment counts, evaluations are in movement… You’re now seeing what was once blind. Colors of mist and calmness, an outlook on what’s to come and not lost, remember to reflect on being still when losing something, try to understand what is to come, and what has now ended. In other words look into the sacredness of the future and take along with you the memories, the lessons, and the gifts of what is now gone and to become.

 

What is marriage

 

for women, we have always imagined what “our day” would be like.

    You know our day!

                                                              *Our Wedding*

The flowers, the chapel, colors of the brides maid dresses, who would be our brides maid J, and last but not least who will be at the other end of that walk standing next to the priest….. Really at the time and point, must women don’t consider that the most important thing, just being married or finding someone who’ll consider marrying them. Not sure on how much, or if Men think of their wedding day verses the fact of even wanting to get married, due to the stimulations they are drilled with, in the beginning of what marriage consist of, most words come to the their minds is don’t, can’t, no longer, ending etc. which it pretty humorous!

As long as I can remember, I’ve never thought or anticipated being married, if anything, I long to one day fall in love, and to look at marriage as the thought of coming afterwards. Why do people mostly women, be hopeful of getting married, before even meeting the person you are to fall in love with, if love is even thought into the equation? How do you anticipate something you have never touched or you’re not close to having, or not even being in a relationship, what do people think marriage consist of? Not living alone, having children, what exactly? What is it to want something so bad at a point of not even being in love yet? Just knowing marriage is what you want. If you were to ask me if I want to get married I would tell you “I don’t know”, well why don’t I know? I can’t tell you I want something that I never had before nor base it on what I see others have, I can tell you this, I have always dreamt of the day of falling in love, I’ve experience that before, I know when two people love each other unconditionally a bond is set in motion, a halo surrounding, unbreakable. But to know if marriage falls in the equilibrium and love not, is something I don’t.

What marriage means to me is to first fall in love, you meet someone, the common interest and affection you have for that person over exceeds the merely thought of losing them, from both sides, eventually with “time”, your love is considered to be so sacred and valuable to you both, the only thing left to do is to have your union blessed, in a place that is sacred and consecrated by our Lord Jesus Christ, and no other place is greater nor sacred then his house, the house of God. Which entitles you to share this blessed event with those near and dear to you as with family, friends and loved ones, for something you want them to feel a part of, as they join and welcome a new soul to their families, an  invitation of growing your family in love with God,  your only witness that matters… That my friend is what I consider marriage!

Below is a common definitions you can find in a dictionary explaining marriage, which today most people consist it to be, a piece of paper, a confirmation, a contract,, a law proof documentation stating what you are entitled to, if and when your marriage does not make it. We have prenuptials in many occasions.

Dictionary Version, Marriage: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.

Today, so many people get married for the wrong reasons, many different reasons but the right one. The convenience of being married, combine income, or in most cases marrying for the other persons income, also to have the image, or to wear the 5 carrot ring, One sided marriages, meaning one person being dedicated to the marriage while the other was talked into it. And the most important, when asked to say those words, “I’m Married”.

Basically, a lot of today’s marriages are based on the reasons of selfish acts and not the meaning of what it was intended for… Here’s my opinion, if you are one of many who knows in their heart, they want to be married, make sure you know who you are and the person you are suppose to be internally first, by learning who you are, you’ll gain knowledge of what you want and deserve, don’t settle, understand marriage is meant for a union to create an atmosphere filled with joy and adoration, to make and produce additions to life, to be a value to another life, and to be valued by someone’s life, to not take it for granted, to always be honorable, supportive, and caring. Until you’re able to understand the meaning of what love is, you will never experience the real true meaning of being married!

43% of marriages end in divorce, if you’re married, or planning on being married, put God in your relationship first and now, look for the things that you can work on, verses helping your other half work on their own self problems or issues, to every problem there’s a solution, it just takes the two of you willing to find it…..together.

For this is my passion

As A Child we are always taught to love each other, our friends, our family, and to be listed first on the list ”Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” My love for writing has brought me here, I have so much to say, and so much to share… I love making a difference, helping someone, being acknowledge for something great, that has brought a smile to someone’s face… to sum it up “I love”… and there has been times of loving someone or something, and it has been taken from me or not expressed back, even at times not knowing how to love or when to love! The last so many, many years of my life, I have endured much change, many lessons, and numerous great moments… and I want to start my first publicly known message about love to all of you in readers land… Hope you like what I express, I hope some of you don’t, you may be asking why, the reason is: “that’s how I learn”… by rejection, most of us want to know the reasons of rejections, the dislikes, the disappointments, which causes us to research, analyze, regroup, think over and understand… in the process of all of that, you are learning.

 For this is something I want to share and was inspired to write, by being in love

I love him, at one point felt as though I needed him. He cares about me, but thinks of reasons not too. Looks for faults in me to move on, he can’t walk away, neither can I. We argued last night and months before, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I miss him dearly, and I’ve tried my best to do what was needed, but I can’t- we can’t- continue to fault each other, it’s just not succeeding. I’ve finally did all what I felt God has told me to do, I’m now at rest, my mind is at ease, I can’t do no more its God’s pain to ease. Words of reflection and feelings left our tongues, but ended with the voice of one saying goodnight and the other with tears of saying ok, all is done, time to believe in the things unseen, to move forward and understand. My conclusion is for me to relax and watch the Lord move through me and his life as an unforeseen mist of love and grace, and then my, his, and our story continues.

love is but of all things made of, it’s what makes the universe itself revolve around the circle of life. Despite the way love may be used negative from the ones that don’t understand or choose to use it manipulatively, you have to always love the next best thing stronger, and never be afraid to take the chance of letting someone love you, for you may miss the greatest thing of all that God wants to possess in everyone’s life, which is “to be in love”! For yes it hurts, it conquers all, it endures and takes away smiles, it forecast tears, and it’s forever confusing at times. But it produces forgiveness, builds families, births smiles, and breathes laughter. Something you can’t see is yet so powerful. It takes time to understand or even get to a point of wanting love, but it will be someone or something that comes into your life, and give you a slight portion of what it actually feels like, to make you set out on a journey’s quest in finding it… for I know, I’ve experienced it.. but it took me to get hurt by it, to have someone misuse it, to appreciate it when it finally arrived. Love today and be anxious to love tomorrow, for the things we love and will come to love or the ones that last a lifetime.

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for those i love and dedicate this to,

My Masterpiece and daughter “Mekenzie”, My mentor, big sis and confident “Stephanie”, My back bone, encouragement, and mother “Mary Woods”, Mylan, Olivia, and Shelbi which has concreted smiles on my face!

and to my friends “Erika” who always encourage me to be me, for this is what makes me great! “Tan” for no matter where the world takes me, she’s along for the ride, "Tasha" for NEVER forgetting a birthday! and to the rest of you fabulous girls for the stepping stones, red marks and arrows pointing me in the right directions at the right times, this is for you, and to the one I unexpectedly fell in love with*

 forever thine, forever mine, forever ours

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Update People! I just want to say to those of you who took the time out of your busy day, to read my first article, to not only read it, but comment, and then on top of that sent me a personal message, saying the words of Admire, Appreciate, Thank You, and "you go girl" I love you guys and cherish you very much! those comments encouraged me and made me realize who my besties were!